CrashBandicoot Jack
by JoraKeyblade
Summary: The first fic of many from your's truly! A Kangaroo Jack parody where Crash Bandicoot plays the "hippity-hoppity" star himself! Enjoy thrills and giggles erupting from the escapades that Sonic & Knuckles experience, bash after bash to catch Crash.
1. Meet Sonic & Knuckles

_Yo, added one or a few additions to cast. Hope Ya'll don't mind!

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**Chapter One: Meet Sonic & Knuckles  
**

We see images of the outback of Australia as a narrator describes it.

_Australia… "The land down under". Rugged… remote… inhospitable and dangerous. Home to twenty million marsupials (including bandicoots), but there is one who is more elusive and clever then all the rest._

We zoom close to find a well known bandicoot standing in the middle of a sandy road.

_And his name… is '**Crash Bandicoot (Jack)'**._

Then the narrator cuts the dramatic voice and talk like a normal narration. We now find the story being narrated by a beach in a city, instead of the outback.

_But my story doesn't begin in Australia. It begins ten years ago half way around the world, on a beach in Brooklyn._

We now find a blue hedgehog with red and white platform shoes, yellow swimming trunks and had a football.

_See that hedgehog with the blue spikes? That's me 'Sonic Hedgehog'. Three things happen on this day that would change my life. First was that my mom met Scourge._

We find Queen Aleena meeting the green hedgehog.

_Mom hadn't dated much since dad died, but I could tell right from the get go she was interested, and why shouldn't she be? Scourge Maggio (his last name can't already be Hedgehog), was a respected member of the community, well feared and respected. Well feared._

Now we find that Scourge was accompanied by a teenage girl with red hair and glasses and a teenage black and hedgehog with partially red spikes and white and red air shoes.

_Those guys are Pamela Isley(**The Batman** version) and Shadow Lombardo(his last name can't be Hedghog either) . Fresh out of the__ Juvenile Hall, both with wings named the two of them. Scourge had been grooming them to take over the family business… A family I was about to become a part of._

Next we see Sonic walking a beach, and red echidna with spiked gloves and machined sneakers, wearing purple trunks and waering headphones connected to a metal detector..

_The second thing that happened was that I met Knuckles Echidna._

Sonic turned and saw that Knuckles was holding the metal detector up to his pants which gave off a signal.

"Don't tell me, you got seventy five cents in your back pocket?" Knuckles guessed.

"You're wrong." Sonic began reaching into his pocket, "It's a JoraKeyblade Transformers compass."

"WHOA, how much you want for it?" Knuckles gasped.

"I's not up for sale man, sorry. Hey wanna play some ball?" Knuckles asked.

"Nah, you play ball. I gotta check every square inch of this beach if I'm gonna make my car payments." Knuckles explained.

"You got a car?" Knuckles asked knowing he's lying.

"Nope, but someday I will." Now step aside, my uncle's only rented me this metal detector for the day."

Next we see Pamela and Shadow willing to play ball with Sonic.

_And the third…_

"Hey kid." Pamela called to Sonic.

_Most important thing that happened that day…_

"Go long!" Shadow called as he hurled the ball into the tide.

_Was that I went out for a 20- yard pass. Unfortunately, there was only 15 yards worth of beach... And a really strong undertow. And I couldn't swim. Have I mentioned that water is among my worst enemies?  
_

Sonic easily sped out but making it further into the water was too much for him as he lost his speed and began to tormentingly drown . The two juvenile delinquents smirked at this knowing he wouldn't make it and that they would remain favored.

Knuckles meanwhile found the JoraKeyblade Transformers compass in the sand and looked around for Sonic.

"Hey kid you lost your…" Knuckles called until he saw Sonic drowning in the ocean. "SOMEBODY HELP, I THINK THERE'S A KID DROWNING OUT… I'LL SAVE YOU!"

Knuckles ran for the ocean and dove in did multiple perfect breast strokes and scooped Sonic up in his arms and carried him to shore where everyone was gathering around, including Queen Aleena. Shadow and Pamela however snuck away into the crowd so nobody would suspect them of the recent actions done.

_That one moment changed my life…because in all the years that followed… Knuckles was better at getting me into trouble then he was at getting me out. A dreamer in search of treasure, who only found bottle caps. On that fateful day, Knuckles saved my life._

"You see this guy?" Selina Kyle asked a reviving Sonic, while showing him Knuckles.

_And I never forgot it._

"He just saved your life." Selina told Sonic as Knuckles grinned overhead.

_He wouldn't let me._


	2. Make Way For

_**Chapter Two: Make Way For...**_

**Ten Years Later**

_It's been ten years since that day I was saved on the beach. My new stepfather Scourge started me up with my own business; a hair salon. He did it for my mom, of course his goons come in every week and take eighty percent of the profits, that he did for himself._

We see outside a hair salon with the sign reading 'Hair Oui Are'. And some fox girl walks in.

"Hey Hedgehog." Fiona Fox said tossing a duffel bag to a much older looking Sonic who is now part human but still with blue spiky hair wearing black, blue and red fingerless gloves, slender white and blue jacket, green shirt, light blue pants, and his trademark red and white shoes. Plus he still has his tail and his pointy blue ears too. And a few spikes on his back too.

Meanwhile Knuckles walks in looking much older and part human as well. Knuckles has golden yellow fingerless gloves with spikes poking out of his knuckles, his trademark sneakers, a red t-shirt, army camouflage pants, and a red jacket with Brooklyn embedded on the front. He too still has his red tail. And his red downward dreads/spikes hair remains too and his sunglasses from Sonic Adventure 2 propped up top his head.

_And Knuckles; the guy who saved my life those years ago is now my closest friend. He thinks I can do a lot better than this, but he also thinks he looks like __Sergeant Tyranno Hassleberry from Yu-Gi-Oh GX._

"Look Fiona I was thinking maybe you could ask Scourge if I could keep a little extra this week…" Sonic tried to explained, "Because I really want to make some improvements."

"You want make improvements, improve of what's win this bag by next week." Fiona said walking out of the salon.

Knuckles finally getting the chance to talk to Sonic walked up to him.

"Hey Sonic, I need a favor. I just got this great job delivering TVs but Tikal got sick, you see she ate one of those microwaveable Chimichangas…" Knuckles explained but was cut off.

"Knuckles, why do all of your stories start off this way, and involving microwavable appetizers?" Sonic asked feeling like he heard this a million times.

"So I need your help." Knuckles finished, "If I don't get these TVs off the truck, man I don't get paid."

"Oh this sounds illegal."

"Oh no Sonic it's totally legit I know the guy."

"Just like you knew the lady who asked you to drive her cat Isis and her littermates up from Gotham City. Remember her?" Sonic asked referring to a mishap.

"Oh, so I'm suppose to know that cats were being used to smuggle diamonds and commit robberies?" Knuckles asked. "Look man I need your help on this one. Two hours tops that's all I need."

"Knuckles you already have a job." Sonic reminds him.

"You call working as a janitor at my uncle's meat market a job Sonic?" Sonic nodded. "I sweep up cow guts, and pig snouts all day man! I need a job where I'm treated like a man-not just an echidna-, where I get some respect. Isn't that what Aretha said 'R-E-S-P-E-C-T'?"

"Well then delivering TVs is definitely the right choice." Sonic said in sarcasm, "Besides didn't Marlon Saunders say 'Here I come, rougher than the rest of them! The best of them!'"?

"I'm dying here man, I need your help on this."

"Look I'm busy here 'oh great defender of the Master Emerald'! Can't you see I'm busy?" Sonic asked.

"Hey! It's not my fault that you had to go and break the Master Emerald thus causing the very freak accident that made us this way!", Knuckles protested. "Besides, I was busy that day ten years ago on the beach too man." But did that stop me from saving this little blue hedgehog from failing in the surf? No, I stopped what I was doing, jumped in and saved this poor little blue hedgehog."

He kept rambling on until Sonic gave in, earning the reply,"You're too easy" from Knuckles as the exited out the door.

"What I'd give I to be back to my old Sega Genesis self", Sonic muttered in defeat

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We now find Knuckles driving a big delivery truck with Sonic in the passengers seat, with a dinosaur sitting next to him.

"Hey Chomps, got a kiss for your uncle Sonic?" Knuckles asked seeing Sonic was feeling gloomy, "Come on man what's wrong?" Knuckles asked his compadre.

"It's just so frustrating. You have no idea how difficult it is to get anywhere in life… when Scourge is your stepfather." Sonic said.

"Scourge bought you the hair salon didn't he?"

"But he barely let's me keep enough to stay alive." Sonic added.

"Hey if Scourge Maggio were my step-daddy you know what I'd be doing Sonic?" Knuckles asked, "I'd just be BAM! Come on Sonic break it down with me! Snake it down with me! Snake it, it's be a party Sonic! It'd be a party!"

Suddenly they heard police sirens coming from behind them.

"Pull over to the curb!" The police commanded them.

"Knuckles I've been meaning to ask, who's truck is this?" Sonic asked.

"That I don't know, it came with the TVs." Knuckles answered.

"This is a stolen vehicle!" The police warned them.

"Apparently. This is a stolen vehicle." Knuckles said sheepishly.

"Oh my God." Sonic cursed.

As the Police continued to command Knuckles to pull over, he put the pedal to the metal and burned rubber.

"Knuckles pull the truck over. Just tell them the truth!" Sonic commanded his friend.

"Sonic I can't man. I'm still on probation from that Isis thing!" Knuckles cried.

Knuckles drove though the city going over the speed limit trying to avoid the cops.

"Knuckles you're breaking so many laws right now!"

"Why don't you hop out, you're much faster than this here van!"

"Then I'll be breaking the speed limit by foot and they're to recognize me first, and that calls for serious trouble!"

"If we go to jail, I'm gonna tell everybody you a hairdresser!" Knuckles shouted.

"I'll personally fight tooth and nail before- Sidewalk, Knuckles! Sidewalk!"

They started driving up on the sidewalk, and the back of the truck opened up causing TVs to fly around everywhere and Chomps to land on Sonic's lap.

"Red light!" Sonic cried as Knuckles drove through it.

Then a TV fell out of the truck and almost hit somebody.

"That wasn't my fault!" Knuckles cried. Then he crashed into a mailbox and letters were flying everywhere. "That was my fault."

The truck kept speeding down the street with the police right on their tail. Knuckles then got his jacket sleeve caught on the window handle.

"No, come on!" Knuckles got his sleeve out of the handle, "Almost ripped my lucky jacket."

"Oh what a relief I forgot you were wearing your LUCKY JACKET!" Sonic said in sarcasm.

As they continued to drive they found a roadblock up ahead.

"Big problem: Road Block!" Sonic cried.

"Bigger problem!" Sonic cried as he saw the police were at the site of the roadblock.

Knuckles continued to drive forward much to Sonic's dismay.

"Knuckles what're you doing slow down!" Sonic screamed.

"We're gonna make it hold on!" Knuckles assured him.

"WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!" Sonic screamed.

Knuckles then made the quick turn just before they collided with the road block, and was clear of the police.

"Now, that's what I'm talking about! That's what I'm talking about!" Knuckles cheered.

Sonic just sat straight in his chair with the oversized Chomps in his lap, "I think the dinosaur just peed on my leg, no think I peed on him."

"All units, intersection blocked. Suspects are at large." The police radioed to other units.


End file.
